The child does not obey: what to do to parents

The child does not obey: what to do to parents

Does the child sharply resist all parental requirements?

Surely each of us has repeatedly participated in such a scene. When a little stubborn man goes over all the permissible boundaries, we can not help but shout at him or even slap on the disobedient bum.

Of course, after such a quarrel, we suffer from remorse of conscience and experience that we acted incorrectly and cannot cope with our own child at all.

Remember that children, like adults, are all completely different: soft and stubborn, calm and restless. There may be several reasons for disobedience.

Age crisis

On these words, someone immediately remembers himself as a teenager, and someone - a child crisis of three years. But in fact, such periods are much longer. Indeed, the first “I do not want and I will not” appears in a child at 2-3 years old, then returns already at 6-7 years old, and then - at 8-9. By the way, the last age is called the younger adolescence.

All of these crises are similar in thatbaby for a while becomes unmanageable. It is important to remember that he did not develop smoothly, and jumps. It is very difficult for him, because every day he changes, grows and has a special love for the word "no." If you constantly hear this word and the particle “not”, then this is a sign of a crisis.

Read also:The child swears: who is to blame and what to do

What to do?
As a rule, such a period lasts no longer than 2-3 months, and then it is already possible to influence the child, he becomes more obedient. If in a crisis parents will put pressure on their fidget, deny the will of the child, do not take it seriously, then negativity can forever be fixed in the character.

Such disobedienceneed to take as personality growth, growing up man, because he needs quite a lot of courage to argue with his mother. Rejoice in such disobedience: it means that the child is growing!

But this does not mean that he needs to indulge in everything. Give the child the right to this "no", say: "I hear that you do not want." And after that, say your "BUT". "I understand that you do not want, but it needs to be done." It is important that parents do not abandon their "I" and adhere to one line of conduct.

Natalya Poddubnaya, psychologist:“During the crisis of seven years a social“ I ”of a child is born. Before him opens a new social position - the student, which is associated with educational work, which is so highly appreciated by adults. The formation of this new position greatly changes its self-awareness and the values ​​are being re-evaluated. When you set goals for your child, consider the motives that are most significant to him now. This will induce him to fulfill the instructions of the adult, in which case such a goal will coincide with his own needs. The child must understand the goal of an unattractive job, which will have a specific result of the action. So he will fulfill your requirement and will be able to complete an uninteresting occupation as soon as possible. ”

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Lack of attention

Very often the child tries to attract the attention of an adult by its disobedience. This is how our children are made up: they prefer any, even bad, attention of their parents than its complete absence.This situation develops with very busy moms and dads or kids who spend a lot of time outside the home.(boarding schools, several after-classes, tutors, etc.).

When a child quietly plays or obediently performs his homework, we can not worry about him and not pay attention. But if he does not obey, he involuntarily pays attention to it. As a rule, parents punish their offspring for this behavior or emotionally reject it. But we do not understand that the next time the child will do the same, besides, he will feel that mom and dad do not like him.

What to do?

The child should not be rejected, but to find the moment when he behaves well or, at least, normally, to caress him, hug him, say that you love him very much. Play with him, spend more time, tell us about your day, ask what is new in his life. Try to get closer with the child as much as possible, because he needs parental warmth so much, despite the fact that he is no longer so small.

MamaVitalinaasks for help from forumchanok:“My daughter is six years old. He does not want to fulfill either my requests or instructions, ignores everything that does not bring her benefits. Talking like a wall! She brings me to hysterics. I have forgotten how to calmly talk. I do not understand: the child grows in love and caress, we pay attention to it quite a lot. How to be?

Read also:Moms UAUA.info advise what to do with a naughty child

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Power struggle

Yes, yes, a child can fight for power with his parents. Very often, as in 2 years, and in 7, your fidget begins to find out who is in charge of the family. And in this case disobedience is open disobedience. It's not about age crisis, it's justthe child needs everything to be as he wants. A mischievous person is trying to spread his opinion and trying to get others to listen to him.

What to do?

Such disobedience must be repulsed. A child develops properly when he knows that the main thing in the family is an adult. With his actions, he is trying to fight parental authority. And here it is important for you to show that you understood his intentions, accepted the challenge, but authority is unshakable. Therefore, with this behavior, it is important that parents set a clear framework of what is permitted, which can and cannot be done.

Do not think that disobedience and stubbornness - this is only a negative moment in the life of a child. So he learns to be an independent, persistent and self-confident person. Such qualities, noticed and properly supported, will certainly be useful to him in life.

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  • The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents

    The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents The child does not obey: what to do to parents