Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

What should a mother do on maternity leave if she thinks that life is passing her by, says psychologist Ekaterina Boydek.

Is it worth worrying mom on maternity leave if it seems to her that everyone around her has a full life and that she alone stays at home. If she suddenly felt that she was not capable of anything at that time, as other mountains turn down, find their vocation or build a career. Read the advice of a psychologist who herself went through this state and shared not only her professional point of view, but also her personal experience. What to do when it seems that life is passing by ...

 

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When I was on maternity leave with my second child, I was often visited by thoughts that life was passing me by. That somewhere near people are realized, work, everything boils and boils for them, and I sit and miss something.

Then my therapist offered me the metaphor of life as a change of seasons. I felt like I was in winter, and I didn't even smell in the spring.In the winter it was cold, empty and lacking the brightness of experiences and events. But oddly enough, the recognition that "I am in the winter" helped me to know what to do with my mother on maternity leave.

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There is a time to sow, there is a time of violent flowering, there is a time to harvest. And there is time to wait.

Wait until the hormonal changes, wait until the forces appear, wait until the decision is made what to do next. Wait until the place of the disturbing inner cry: "Aaaa, I do not have time, time passes!" a calm, confident inner will come: "It's time, now I'm ready, spring has come."

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It's hard just to wait. It seems that this time will never end.

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What if I can't right now — I can never. What if now there are no forces - then they will not appear. That winter is now forever.

It's hard not to know the date and time when this period will end. Well, on March 1, it's time! And the snow is lying on the street minus, and nature spits on the calendar, my expectations and fatigue.

But winter is not just waiting time. There is something that is good and important to do during this period.

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It is important to find a way to bask. Request and receive more heat, more support.At a family, at friends, at the psychologist. At home

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To warm yourself, allow yourself to be in hibernation, not to waste energy, not to do anything.

You can prepare the seeds for planting, prepare for the new season. Listen to what you want, which causes some kind of emotional feedback. Where I am interested, where it is interesting and scary, and where the aversion is “nooo, just not that”. Learn to distinguish emotions, understand your desires. Distinguish where I do something on interest, where on anxiety, and where, because "it is necessary".

It would be nice to check stocks for the winter. Did I harvest? What is my experience? What are the achievements, mistakes, lessons? What do I know, what did I do, where was I strong? What is my experience (quantitative and qualitative) of work, relationships, parenthood?

Winter is the time to check whether the "technology" is ready for the new season. My body, what about him? What about health? With sleep, with food, with fresh air and movement? What is missing from me?

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Inner winter is the time to accept restrictions. That not everything goes according to plan. That I may be powerless. I can not be ready, I can not want to, I can not be able to. Time of sadness and growing up.

This is a time to remind yourself that a baby has been born for 9 months. In order for a butterfly to appear, it takes time to be in a cocoon. And do not try to open this cocoon. It is a time of faith that everything will happen if you give yourself time.

And another thing that I read in Wikipedia: "Winter varieties have high yields." I believe in it, my experience confirms it. If I was able to survive the winter, not rush myself, find a way to keep warm and be attentive to myself - as a result I grow stronger and brighter, and my life becomes deeper and richer.

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  • Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave

    Life passes me by what to do: advice from a psychologist mothers on maternity leave