When our close or familiar peoplethere is some kind of grief, trouble or something bad, we want to express our sympathy. Often we do not know how to do it right. How to choose the right words, so that the expression of condolence does not hurt someone's feelings and does not bring even more frustration to our interlocutor? Especially we are concerned with the question: how to express condolences to a person who has lost someone from close people? It happens that it is we who must report this unfortunate news. How to do it right? How to help a person survive this tragedy?
Before you start talking, it's goodto think over your words, so that the expression of condolence really bears in itself some kind of consolation and encouragement to the suffering person. This will be easier to do if the words are put on paper, i.e. to write a letter of condolence. In a quiet environment, it is worth choosing the words of encouragement to the grieving person and offering practical help. It is appropriate to mention in the letter of gratitude for some past good deeds or qualities of the deceased, if you were personally acquainted with him.
If you are required to be constantly next to that,who is experiencing such a loss, what is it worth or not to talk about with this person? How can I express my condolences to the child in connection with the death of his loved ones - parents or grandfathers, grandmothers - those whom he so loves? This will be discussed in the article.
If the unpleasant news of the death of a loved onewe tell the child how to express condolences in this case? Psychologists say that you can not deceive him or hide the truth from him in any way. This will not benefit the child. In no case can it be said that his deceased loved one is just asleep. Otherwise, the child may be afraid to fall asleep, and this will cause additional stress. You do not need to compose stories about God needing angels in the sky, or that it's his will-he took his mother (grandmother) to his heaven. Such reasoning can undermine a person's faith, especially a child. He will consider God cruel and unjust. It is not necessary to force the child to approach the coffin with the body, if he is afraid. It is better to explain to him in detail the state of the deceased - does not feel anything, does not think, does not see, does not hear. He does not hurt and not bad. It's death. That the child is not afraid of the deceased, it is necessary to tell him that when a person dies, he can not do anything, can not stand up or speak. If the child is already old enough and understands much, it is worth telling him that a person acts and thinks only while his brain is alive. The dead can not affect the living in any way, so he should not be afraid. He can do nothing more.
Each person has his own individual reaction toall that is happening. It is not necessary to condemn a grieving person for tears or on the contrary to persuade to cry. Even if a man cries, there is nothing shameful about this. This feeling! Fear, mistrust, disappointment and even anger at the person who died is a normal reaction. Do not rush events. It is not necessary to induce a person to "forget" his grief more quickly and lead a "normal" life. He has the right to his feelings! You should not also speak ill of the deceased. Or say such phrases as, for example: "Well, finally, you are exhausted (tormented)! Now at least you breathe easy! "Believe me, these words do not encourage anyone. Whichever person is deceased, he was close and loved, and his loss causes sorrow, not joy.
How can I express my condolences in this case? Sometimes you do not need to say anything at all. Just need to be close. Silently sit, hold your hand, hug, give a cry. Be ready to help in deed, not in words. Do not ask about anything, do not say a duty phrase such as: "Call if you need anything." Better just be a friend! For real. In practice. The expression of condolence, words of sympathy and consolation must come not only from the mind, but primarily from the heart. And then the grieving person will feel your sincere care and desire to ease his pain.