How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

Family and children are the holiest things we have in life, but sometimes we forget about it.

In the mornings, we are always in a hurry, then we disappear all day at work, and in the evenings - the traditional washing / cleaning / cooking. We decide that children are already grown up, they have become more independent and already less need parental attention and care.

But we forget that now, while our younger students have not become high school students, it's time to get closer to them. You want your son or daughter in adolescence not to close on you, and their adult secrets to trust?

How to find time to communicate with the child?

You probably go to the shops, take your child to school or bake pies in the evenings. Learn to combine business with pleasure. No need to try to do everything quickly, do not rush to live! After all, you can devote more than a few minutes a day to communicate with your child.

On the way from the store or from schoolask how he spent his day, what new, interesting things he learned. But the conversation should not resemble an interrogation: ask leading questions or think aloud about your school years. At home, play together your favorite schoolchild's game, slowly bringing it to the topic of relationships with classmates, teachers, etc.

It is better to talk, starting from examples from the life of his favorite characters from cartoons or fairy tales - then he will be easier to contact.

The best age for communication

Do not think that now the child is interested only in cartoons, fairy tales, toys and computer games. All of this, he was already partly fed up. Now he wants to learn more and more information about the world, about human relationships.

Therefore nowparents for the student - omnipotent and all-knowingthat's why he is so eager to talk to you as much as possible. That is why you find “two” and “unsuccessful” in his diary, so the child fights at school, curses with his parents. He lacks your attention, communication, parental warmth.

Sergey Tsarenko, child psychotherapist:“Before the beginning of adolescence, you need to communicate with your children as much as possible.Then at a transitional age they will continue to share with you their experiences and problems. Remember how many things are exciting at this age? First kiss, first cigarette, first relationship, etc. For example, I would really like my children to come to share their problems with me, and not with friends in the yard. And for this it is necessary that the child is accustomed to talk heart to heart with parents from an early age. Then it will be too late. ”.

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Personal example

In order to establish contact with the child, to teach him to share his experiences and events in life, adults also need to talk about their lives.

So he understands: once mom and dad share, it means that I can tell them about my problems. Parents shouldshare your feelingsso that the child learns how to do it correctly.

Many children, like adults, simply do not know how to express their feelings and experiences. The little ones do not know and do not know how to correctly identify this or that feeling, which appeared in the soul. And we must teach them this.

For example, when you come home, tell me how pleasant it is for you that the child cleaned up his room and did his homework.Praise him for his independence and responsibility, saying that you are very happy with what is happening.

Mom Lena from our forum tells:“My husband, our father, at one time very much criticized his son for the fact that he was doing this and that wrongly. At first karate punches are bad, then he has some kind of curves. Then somehow subsided - and Roly began to engage in aeromodelling. Dad did not say anything bad about the new hobby of the child. But here's what's bad: the son wants to deal only with these models - and that’s all, he doesn’t believe that something else could turn out well. So now my husband and I have taken one side - we learn how to praise our little son correctly and talk a lot with him, instill confidence in ourselves. Hope that helps. ”

Read also:Father's role in raising a child: dads and boys

Do not think that a child can be praised with such words. He will consider your words a guide to action. Once mom and dad are happy, they are nice and pleasant, so he will want to share his emotions in words, and not with the help of his fists in a fight.

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Why is it dangerous to talk a little with a child?

Parents who are stingy with emotion, who consider the expression of love or disappointment, face big problems when the child grows up.While adults do not have the time and desire to talk with their son or daughter, children grow upemotionally closedor, on the contrary, they strive to impose on everyone their emotions on other people.

Sergey Tsarenko, child psychotherapist:“I often ask the parents of my little patients how they communicate with the child, and how often their parents talked with them in childhood. It often happens that parents (and some of them) have always been stingy with emotions. This behavior is typical of people raised in the USSR: they grew up in the belief that someone could always eavesdrop on their conversation. Therefore, even at a family dinner, everyone ate in silence instead of discussing how someone had had a day. ”

A heart-to-heart talk with the child contributes to trusting relationships in the family, mutual understanding and the development of the offspring as a person. Each child, becoming an adult, should feel part of their family.

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  • How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents

    How and why to talk to the child: a reminder for parents